Such is life, we worry most of our days away and are left to face this world with half-hearted interest. Such is life.
Life brings with it many challenges, many hardles to tackle and many more that we cant break through. At certain checkpoints in life, a culmination of events leading to that checkpoint washes up to the back of my mind. No, not just the back of my mind, it dominates my existence. My entire being. It come and go, fact, in a rush. The catch is that it takes a part of my sanity away each time. A checkpoint has arived.
I have spent night after night worrying about the moment I am about to face, soon. In a couple of hours, my A level results wil be released. Many may think that I am over dramatising my results, but not all can understand. Not all. Expecially not those who are born smart, intellegent an study-smart. I'm not like those people... As such, I cannot take comfort in the fact that I have braincells overcharged with intellect. Because I don't have such a gift. All I have is a desire to do well, a desire to wake up early, to sleep late and to work my ass off. An ability to not fool around, to focus and to attempt to do well. But then, not everything works out the way we want it to. Memories are floating in to existence, very vivid pictures. Images of moments of joy and elation. But at the same time, this dreadful feeling of failure. Horrid feelings. I cannot explain how the combination of the two creates a sense of, of uncertainty. All I know is that, I really want to do well. Not only for myself, but for every young human being who once thought that they can never be anyone special. It is not just for me, it is for everyone who hates being normal, but are. It s for every child who hears that they are stupid and normal and so-so all the time. This is for me to know that I'm no longer that person.
This is for ME to know that I'm not an average. Not anymore. Not anymore.
These waves of recollection, some painful some light-heartening, are pulsing ever so strongly. So sharp, so steep, so fierce - so alive.

How will I do?
I have no clue, and I refuse to stipulate. Conjetures cannot bring relief.
So all i can do is to pray, pray and pray.
And if i wrote a note to God,
                                            Please,
                                                       I'll ask for ....
strength.

Be with me.
Please.