It grows on you. As one ages, one realises societal concepts that somehow alluded us when we were younger. Okay, not exactly aging, but growing up. Have you ever considered, When you were youthful and full of energy and spent most of your waking hours (most hours were waking anyways) with your friends, not at home. Not at home. I tried to imagine how it feels to be a parent, watching as your child leaves you. I really cannot effectively visualise, maybe because I lack the maturity still. Not yet, yet. So, when the child leaves the room, leaves the house, after an occational joyful goodbye, the parent/parents are left with a minute or two of silence. Dead silence. Pressing quiet-ness, I suppose it feels as if te ceilling it itself is crashing upon them. As though the walls are closing in, the feeling of void. The silence is so very heavy, the sole magnitute of it, crashing like waves, pulsing through the house... It follows the heartbeat, pulse-----pulse-----pulse.

But gradually it speeds up. It gains velocity, the pulsing of nothing-ness radiates and hastens along with the parent/parents heartbeat. Is he going to be okay? Is she going to be safe out there? Am I going to die worrying?

The parent then starts wondering...how fast the change took place. The 'evolution', the devaluation of parental-quality time. Very fast, very very fast. There was a time, not long ago, when the two entities, parent and child, was inseparable-joint at the heart and in the mind, almost telepathic. Dining together, walking down streets togather, window shopping together, and living together. Most importantly, that was the time when the two entities talked to each other. Not at each other. But things changes. Rapidly. And how, the parent is left with the feeling of...heaviness.

How can anyone bear the pains of being a parent? Knowing that there will be a point in time when the child (the gift?) will consider being beside his/her parent/s as embrassing. Shameful? How dare us? But even so, the realisation of the invalidity of the concept stops no one in repeating the cycle every year. Every year, parents cry out inside when they finally accept that their child/ren has reached that age where friends override the importance of family.

I assure you, this is temporal. It has to be, because it is wrong.
Guilty charged.
And I am glad I have moved pass the age of stupidity.
Family is first importance, the only importance...
Treasure them, please.
How can anyone be a parent? It hurts so much at that point in time, it does doesn't it? It has to. And it kills me to realise that I was once that kid I would hate. A heartbreaking kid... Never lose your temper at your parents, they gave you everything you have. No arguements, they gave you life.

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I wouldn't be around for the next week. Going in to signals institute for the remainding of my NS training.

Start loving,
stop the hate.

Chin.